are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
