So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
