Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize