that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
