is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
