i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
