I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
