He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
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Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
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It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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