tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she smelled like a LAN party
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
