OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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