Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
