Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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