Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
