I hate your face
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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