You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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