is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
