just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
do herpes really smell.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
