My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
