sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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