I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
