I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
