textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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