I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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