She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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