I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize