take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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