haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Your dad touched me again.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
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I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
please come you make the beer taste better
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
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There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize