he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
