Im at strip club and am horny
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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