You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
