Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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