ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize