the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain