i already hear my dad disowning me
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
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It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme