im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
