cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
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