She's JV to your varsity
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
