Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
