I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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