More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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