Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
