They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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