Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
