He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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