Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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