you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
that is very illegal...i love you.
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