i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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