Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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