No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize