She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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