I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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