Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
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