when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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