i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
