Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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